I'm currently at this point where my eyes are being uncovered to these things I have been so blind to over the years. Amanda and I have been talking over this desire we both have to be seen and how it totally consumes our focus at times. I have been praying how much I don't want to live this life anymore, just acting as if everything I do and desire is completely normal, going through the motions, settling for something far less then the goodness God has for me. I am starting to realize how this desire to be seen and have attention comes from where I get my value and worth. I look to other people and their opinions and thoughts of me to form my identity and value. How dysfunctional is that!? So if I walk into a room I want to look my best, act my best, portray this image of who I want to be and have people see me as, so that I can have the gratification of feeling that way about myself. How false and disgusting are these thoughts of mine? And how even more ridiculous that I have built so much of myself on these insane concepts!
Flee from my satan you only wish to harm me! To tell me lies about who I really am and my power! You can not control my life anymore by this selfishness and conceit you wrap my mind in. I am a child of God. He calls me His loving daughter. His heir to His throne. I am who I am because He made me that way. Not because people may or may not think those things about me. My value does not come from you or the world but from my wonderful maker's hands and heart!
I am His and He is mine.
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